Sumangali Prarthanai
The tradition in any brahmin family in olden days is that whenever an elderly women passed away as sumangali, the family used to conduct Sumangali Prarthanai every year in remembrance of the elderly women. Nowadays, whenever an important function is planned in any brahmin house, we used to remember our ancestors and celebrate Sumangali Prarthanai.
Pendugal
Pendugal are nothing but Sumangali’s. Based on the family’s financial status and willingness, we can have 5 pendugal or 7 or 9 pendugal. One Kanya girl should be part of the Pendugal. Other than pendugal we should have 2 pudavaigalam(2 leaves in remembrance of ancestors). The belif is that the ancestors are also participating in the Sumangali Prarthanai.The family women should be part of the pendugal.
The day before the Sumangali Prarthanai…
The day before the Sumangali Prarthanai, we need to take 1 small bowl of gingelly oil along with seekai powder, turmeric powder, kumkum and give it to each pendugal and invite them for sumangali prarthanai. We have to buy 9 yards saree in any color without a mix of black color along with 2.25 meters of pavadai(sithadai) material for Pudavaikalam . We need to wash the 9 yards saree (except the new sarees) which the pendugal(from our home) is going to wear on sumangali prarthanai and dry it in advance.
On the day of Sumangali Prarthanai
The new 9 yards saree and pavadai material should be rinsed in water and dried before being kept in the wooden plank. If there is no place for drying the new wet clothes or if you feel that the time is not enough for drying, its better to keep as new in the wooden plank instead of wet clothes. While keeping saree in the wooden plank, remember to keep its pallu north facing.
Clean the wodden plank and put ezhai kolam and allow it to dry. The place where we need to keep the wooden plank and the place where we are going to place the banana leaves should be cleaned and neatly wiped and put ezhai kolam and allow it to dry.Elderly women in the house should take 2 wooden plank(palagai) and keep the 9 yards saree and pavadai material along with gingelly oil, seeyakai powder(herbal hair wash powder), turmeric powder, kumkum. She has to dip her ring finger and take small quantity of oil and rub it in the corner of the 9 yards saree and pavadai material and then she can apply the oil in head of the other women in the house. The women should get blessings of the elderly women and go for the shower.The banana leaf should be kept east facing in the wooden plank. Banana leaves for pendugal can be kept either east or west facing. Keep the 9 yards saree in the wooden plank having ezhai kolam and on top of it place a mirror, jewel, and flower garland. The same has to be done on pavadai material.
Keep a kuthuvilaku in the center of the 2 holy leaves and light the lamp. Take comb, mirror, turmeric, kumkum, beetle leaves, paaku(areca-nut), mehindhi, nalangu manjal and keep it on top of 9 yards saree and pavadai material. Take dry ginger powder and make it like a ball and keep on top of the saree and pavadai. Keep butter milk, panagam(jaggery juice),1 glass of milk(unboiled), flower, common to both the holy leaves. Keep 5 rupee coins for each of the pendugal on top of the saree.
Keep some loose petals(uthiri pushpam) aside. Take 1 handfull of raw rice and mix it with turmeric powder and make it as akshadhai and keep it aside. Give flowers to all the pendugal. Keep some more flowers to give to pendugal after they eat. Take santhanam, kumkum, beetle leaves, paaku, turmeric and other things ready to offer to the pendugal after they finish their eating.
After we prepare the food, depending upon the raghu kalam, ask the pendugal to put turmeric on their foot and clean their foot. Give flowers to the pendugal. First serve dishes for the holy leaves in front of the saree and pavadai leaves. Serve all the side dishes and finally serve rice. Take little ghee and serve around each banana leaves, we call this as anna sudhi and then ask the pendugal to stand in east facing. Sprinkle sandhanam(sandalwood powder mixed with water) on top of 9 yards saree and pavadai material and do neivedhyam. Then we need to show karpoora arathi and this has to be done by either elderly women in the home or by first daughter-in-law.
Then we need to request all the pendugal to put akshadhai, loose petals on top of the saree and pavadai and do namaskaram. Then ask the pendugal to get ready for food. If we have pregnant women in home, they should not sit as pendugal after 5 months of their pregnancy. Initially we need to take little water and rotate around the holy leaves and then give water to each pendugal uniformly and ask them to rotate around the leaves and start eating.
After all the pendugal finished their food, again take little water and rotate around the holy leaves and then give water to each pendugal and ask them to drink and then they can get up. the banana leaf near the 9 yards saree should be move north side. After the pendugal wash their hands ask them to sit on top of plastic plank and we need to serve butter milk, panagam, dry ginger urundai. Then we need to give kumkum, turmeric, nalangu manjal, mehindhi, beetle leaves and paaku.
Recipes for Sumangali prarthanai:
Please refer to srartham samayal to prepare food for sumangali prarthanai.
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namaskaram ,
very nice post.thank u so much.now a days people are away from india.no one help us to do all these.u r like a mother teaching the traditions to youngest generation.thank u so much again.i had a doubt,this sumangali should done by any specific days or we can do it on any friday.pls reply me.
thank u
geetha.s
Hi,
You can do this on Monday, Wednesday or Friday. Make sure that the day does not fall in "Dhavathasi". Adjust your timing based on Raghu Kalam / Emakandam.
Namaskarams
I have a question. One of the ladies in our Sumangali prarthania left early,meaning she did not eat completely. What should I do?. Is there any parigaram for this?. Please let me know. Thanks
Mami do you have any months which we must not perform Pondugal
Thank u so much
Geetha.s
lovely keep tradition growing our next generation is gifted they are going to teach us
hats off
geetha venkataraman
pune
Can we not have it on Sunday???
Hi Shubra,
It varies from family to family. People from specific part of tamilnadu do have this on Sunday. But in my family, we don't prefer sunday.
Oh Ok…..Thanks a lot mami 🙂
Dear Mrs. Subbalakshmi
I have a doubt here….after doing this function, the 9 yard saree – should it be given to the daughter in law of the house or to the daughter?
Hi Lakshmi
Generally we give the 9 yards saree to the daughter, but if we have no daughter available as pondugal then we rotate the 9-yards saree to the daughter-in-laws of the family.
thanks a lot Mrs.Subbalakshmi.
Can somebody help me whether only brahmin ladies have to sit for pondugal. both my s-i-laws have married outside the family. can they sit for the pondugal and can 9yards saree be given to them.
Hi, As per the ritual and my best knowledge only brahmin ladies used to sit as pondugal. But i would request you to take your own call on this considering your family tradition and values.
Dear mami please tell whether boli is made for this function.pls inform
regards
revathy
Mumbau
mamii am a bramin and my husband is not bramin so does it mean that i should not do nombu
Hi msmi these practices vary from family to family. We have a special kolum close to the wall and keep palahai. have the 9 yards saree in one place. We also have pavadai for kanni ponnu. Also we have a black saree for mariamman.
We give the 9 yards to veetu matruponnu and black saree to veetu ponnu
Vanakkam Maami, thanks a lotttttt for this detailed method.Being a non-brahmin, that too being from different state altogether and married into an iyer family with no elders to teach the customs-traditions i was lost completely.You are my god-mother now….because of your blog i am able to learn so many traditional brahmin samaiyal and customs followed by Iyer families.I am so happy that now i perform every puja, every food authentic to what an iyer person would do and the entire credit goes to you….Thanks for being there, guiding me in disguise through this blog and helping me at every step to overcome my non-brahmin weakness….I owe my self to you Maami…Love you <3
Namaskaram maami….your blog is a great help to me….i am a non-brahmin, that too from different state and married into an iyer family….at every festival, every function i used to feel bad that i donno any custom-tradition and how will i ever train my daughter for her future.I don't have any such elderly person(since my husband lost his mother during his childhood itself and he is the eldest son)who can guide me in this regard.You and your blog rescued me like anything and today whatever i know about iyer kalacharam, iyer samaiyal, entire credit goes to you….You are my God-Mother in disguise….words can not express howmuch gratitude i carry for you….love u Maami….
Thank you shobana fr your wonderful comments.
can v do sumangali prarthanai in the month margazhi
Hi Mami,
Please let us know what is the purpose of this function. Is it to receive blessings from the elderly woman who passed away?
Hi Maami,
If the first Daughter in Law is not agreeing / or interested to perform this sumangli Prarthana (SP), then can the 2nd daughter in law perform this by inviting sumangli's from within and outside family and perform this sumangli Prarthanai. Kindly help.
Hi, sorry for late response. First daughter in-law is the main person to perform SP. But if your circumstance is like that, then you can go ahead. But try to convince to your first DIL
Can a sumangali prarthanai be performed in Thai (Jan) and Chitrai (April) two different tamil years even though both fall in the same calender year. Please we seek your opinion.
For Pithrukal, one year is one day. So if you have already done in Thai month, the next sumangali prarthanai should be done next thai or later but not the immediate chithirai month though they both fall in different tamil calender years.
What about conducting it on thursday ?
What about conducting this on thursday ?
Sorry Dhanya, generally we do on on Monday, Wednesday or Friday. Make sure that the thursday does not fall in "Dhavathasi". Adjust your timing based on Raghu Kalam / Emakandam.
Thank u sooo much maami…
Is sumangali prarthanai meant for sumangalis or only brahmin ladies, as now-a-days many girls get married to other castes, so then it means that person should not be a part of this function?? pls help with your answer.
When I have a sister-in-law and my own daughter to whom should I give the 9 yards saree. Please help
thanks a lott, sir many purohiths said, a person (he) got less life span i.e 35years, but a friend of mine want to marry him, on behalf and with regards of the two families….
what is the remedy cAN i give to her, to increase his life span ( i prefers ayush homa, and sumangali pooja, can these two really help them..?? else any other remedy?? ) pls help them and save them
Hello mami
We are performing pondugal at my home. Can my 6 year old daughter be KANYA pondugal?
Hi, Sure you can have her as kanya pondugal.
Hi Mami, I am handicapped as I lost my in laws before wedding and as such no responsible elder person to cascade these customs and traditions of the family to me. I am very happy to have landed at this site and especially this page. Recently we performed sumangali prarthanai at home just following the steps you had given. The pendugal who were old ladies of my husbands family were very happy. All credit goes to you! Thanks you..I consider you as my saviour 🙂 Thanks so much!
Thank you so much for your comment. I feel very happy to hear that this little post is helpful for many of you. This gives me more encouragement to share many good things with you all. Thanks once again.
Can my younger brother perform my SP?? While my marriage we could not perform this SP…Is it okay to do now??? My father also no more…
Yes surely he can perform.
Thank you for your valuable information and your blog give very great clarity about our Traditional value. Very good service to our Society. Keep it up Madam…
What is Adhisaya ponduga?How is it different from MANGALI pondugal?Can both be performed in the same year.
I understand Shradda pondugal for Sumangali is a must every year.I am also told that only one pondugal can be performed in a year.In that case there is no need to perform pondugal for Wedding etc in those families where shradda pondugal is performed for departed Sumangalib every year.Pl. clarify.Thanks.
Hello,
(Athisaya )Adrishza Pondugal is a tradition that is followed by Brahmins of Brahcharanam (Milaganur Brahacharanam to be precise) subsect. This ritual is conducted before Upanayanams and Kalyanams. It is not the same as Mangili Pondugal or Sumangali Prarthanai. This is a very rare tradition and only my family in my gramam has this ceremony.
Procedure is as follows: 1 Brahmachari, 1 Widowed Woman and 5 Married women are served food first.(Important thing to note is the newly weds couples should not see these people) They are then asked to get up and move away and then the eldest lady of the house calls them back and subsequently they have their food. Ideally, the food for Adrishya Pondugal ceremony needs to be cooked separately, but nowadays, a portion from the main course is taken and served first. Nothing special needs to be cooked, just Samaradhanai items are required.
Thanks a lot for sharing information about Athisaya Pondugal. I will show it to my MIL and try to publish it giving credits to you 🙂
Thank you Ms.Sowmya for publishing my comment. It’s very kind of you to credit me.
Namaskaram Mami,
We belong to Thirunelveli and my mother in law is no more.After her passing we have not done Sumangali prarthanai and want to do it after her shradam.Do we have to see naal nakshathram to do it the next day of Shradam? Also do you have a menu for Thirunelveli style Sumangali prarthanai ?
Thank you so much
Namaskarams
I have a question. One of the ladies in our Sumangali prarthania left early,meaning she did not eat completely. What should I do?. Is there any parigaram for this?. Please let me know. Thanks
hi mami. your blog is so good and informative. thank you very much.
Hi Mami, one of the sumangali ladies left early due to an emergency situation and she could not eat completely. Is this bad or if there are parigarams for this. Please help Looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks
Dear Mami, We conduct sumangali prarthanai every year the day after my mother-in-law's shraddam as per our family tradition . But now a days kanya ponnu is hard to get as most kids have lot of problems taking off from school. Can you suggest any alternative for this please, I would be most thankful for that regards, Bhuvana
Dear Mami, Is there any alternative in conducting sumangali prarthanai without a kanya ponnu, as kids find it very difficult to take off from school when exams are round the corner. PLs advise.
regards, Bhuvana
any small girl from the family or friends or relatives family we can call. even small kids like kindergarten girls are also ok. but if we don't get, then we can skip and proceed
can we do sumangali prathanai on sunday, sept. 3rd being the thithi is duvadhasi. pls.clarify me amma
Can I get some help in organising sumangali rarthanai in Chennai?
Can we get some help to perform sumangali prarthanai in Chennai in December 2017?
I understand only once in a year the Prarthanai can be performed, Whether the year is computed from Chithirai to Panguni as a block.That means we can perform one prarthanai in THAI of current block and if needed another in in Avani in the next block. Or should we wait till next THAI having performed the prarthanai in THAI this year Please clarify.
I will check with my MIL and get back to you.
Hi mami ….
I am pregnant with 4 months now. When we do a sumangali prarthana..? I have no brothers and sisters in my mother house. I have 1 daughter in law. Who can do pondugal..? My parents or my laws…? If we do that can we fix the date before my seemandham.?Plz reply me
Sorry to not reply to your comment. The comment went to spam folder and i missed to see it. very sorry to not reply on time. If we are pregnant, we have to do sumangali prarthanai before end of 5th month. also you have to do it in mil home.
please let me know if the eldest daughter in law can sit as sumangali. I am the next daughter in law and my daughter is getting married
As per tradition daughter-in-law can’t sit as sumangali especially the eldest one who has to lead.
can my daughter who is to be married sit as sumangali?
yes she can sit
No, she cannot.But she has to put Akshadai in the podavai kalam and sittadai kalam. After marriage she can sit next year. Now she is not kanya ponnu. She is not sumangali . she is lady who has attained puberty.
Hi
My father died in 2009
And my grandmother(father side) died in 2015 as sumangali
We have not done any sumangali pooja so far,as I am staying with my widow mother and brother.
We do not have any communication with our paternal side relatives.
Does this affect our family?
Or do we need to do?
Kindly help with this information
Thanks in advance
Apologize for late response. Your comment landed in Spam folder. I will check with my MIL and respond within a day.
If three brothers are living in different houses with their families and in case the pooja is conducted each year by one
of the brothers in rotation in his house (while the other two joining it), who has to preside the main Prarthanai (the respective daughter in laws or the eldest) ? Would it be the eldest in all the three houses?
yes eldest daughter-in-law one has to take up the responsibility irrespective of the location.
Hello Mami, Am from Iyer family & married to Iyengar. Can i sit in Sumangali pondugal when done at my mother’s place
yes surely you can.
Namaskaram ! Can I conduct sumangali Prathanai on April 13th: 2021. Its Tuesday but Gudi Padwa and Tamil new year and Vishu
We usually do on fridays or sunday. I will check and confirm
Should shrardha pondugal and kalyana (for kalyanam, poonal etc) pondugal be conducted separately? If yes, won’t it amount to performing 2 pondugals in the same year ?
Hi, sorry to respond very late. I was waiting for reply from my MIL. Now i have the answer. We should do pondugal only once a year. If you have done the shraradha pondugal and a marriage is fixed later of the year then we need to skip the marriage pondugal.
Can we do pondugal on shasti. Please reply at the earliest
Any friday or sunday should be fine.
Vanakkam Mami, if a srardha sumangali prarthanai is done in our Pangali family (for my paternal Periyamma) are we allowed to do Poonal sumangali prarthanai in our family in the same year